· Writing News for the Sunshine State & the Solar System

Editor: Howard Denson * November 2011

Conference, Critiques, and Smashwords


In This Issue:


NFW to Critique Manuscripts at Nov. 12 Meeting at Willowbranch

Margie Lawson to present Master class Saturday, Nov. 19, At Arlington Congregational Church

Day for Lending the Arts a Hand Slated Dec. 3

The Wrong Stuff – Howard Denson

Barbarians past the Gates – Kenneth Atchity

Stuff from Hither and Yon

Stuff from a Writer's Quill – Russell Baker

Meetings of NFW and Other Groups

Useful Links

The Write Staff

Membership Form

Writers Born This Month


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NFW to Critique Manuscripts

at Nov. 12 Meeting

at Willowbranch


The North Florida Writers meeting will feature critiques of manuscripts at the Willowbranch library at 2 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 12. The public is welcome to attend.


The critique process has someone other than the author of respective works read aloud the submissions (up to 10 double-spaced pages of prose, and reasonable amounts of poetry or lyrics). Authors may not defend their work, but they may attach questions they would like answered (e.g., “Is the scene on the beach convincing?”). Authors should listen to the words and rhythms of their creations. 


Willowbranch is located in Riverside at 2875 Park St., Jax 32205, but, if you are unfamiliar with area, go to and use MapQuest to find the easiest route there. The WB phone is 904.381.8490.


The December meeting will start at 2:30 p.m., Dec. 10, in order to accommodate an earlier meeting in the meeting room.


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Margie Lawson to present

Master class Saturday, Nov. 19,

At Arlington Congregational Church


Aspiring writers have until Saturday, Nov. 12, to register for the limited spaces in a master class to be held the next week at Arlington Congregational Church (431 University Blvd. N. in Jacksonville).


The Super Saturday class will be conducted by Margie Lawson from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Nov. 19 for members of the First Coast Romance Writers. Non-members may attend for a fee of $39. A light lunch is also available for $5.

Go to to register. To learn more about the speaker, click on


The Empowering Characters’ Emotions Class is designed to help the reader hook the reader viscerally, add psychological power to a work in progress, and turn a manuscript into a page turner.

In the class, she will cover the following topics and more: The EDITS System, Four Levels of Powering Up Emotion, Overview of Body Language and Dialogue Cues, Top Ten Rhetorical Devices for Fiction Writers, Fresh Visceral Responses, Cliché-busting, Motivation Reaction Units, Ideomotor shifts, Subtext Power, Emotional Authenticity, Backstory Management, Emotional Hits, Deep Editing techniques, and Rhythm and Cadence and Beats.


Ms. Lawson is a psychotherapist, writer, and international presenter – developed psychologically based editing systems and deep editing techniques used by everyone, from new writers to multi-award winning authors. She teaches writers how to add psychological power to create page turners.


She taught psychology and communication courses at the undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral levels. She has been an adjunct professor, clinical trainer, facilitator of trauma response sessions, and director of a hospital-based counseling center.


In the last six years she presented over 50 full-day Master Classes to over 5,000 writers across the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.



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Day for Lending

the Arts a Hand

Slated Dec. 3


Dr. John C. Crick of the Riverside Hand Center and CDS Publicity have partnered together to have a "Lending the Arts a Hand Day", Saturday, Dec. 3, from 9 a.m. till noon, to support area authors and artists. This event is open by reservation to attend. Deadline to register is Nov. 25. This is an outside event in the Riverside area. Fee for participants is a toy for the "Toys For Tots" donation campaign. The event is open to all area authors and artists.


Interested persons should contact Caryn Day-Suarez at 904.428.4681 or see the website for more info:


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Once again we are gigging the editor of this newsletter, who used online dictionaries and then proceeded to ignore what was actually on the screen.


Faithful readers Wendy Geiger, Joyce Davidson, and Angie Bell spotted this problem in the “Barbarians Past the Gates” section last month:


If you are using the words “envelop/envelope,” when do you use which spelling? “Envelop” is the spelling for nouns, while “envelope” is the spelling for verbs. Quick memory device: If you need to add an “e,” remember that verb has an “e” in it.


VERDICT OF W.S. READERS: It’s wrong and has everything reversed. The quick memory device should have been this: “Think of ‘letter’ (which has e’s) when you want to spell the word for what the letter goes into: envelope.” A bonus: When do you use “stationary” or “stationery”? Memory device: “Stay” has an “a” in it, as does the latter part of “stationary.” “Letter” has an “e” in it, as does the latter part of what it’s written on, “stationery.”




Robert Reich, “The Austerity Death Trap” (Huffington Post) and “The Flat Tax Fraud, and the Necessity of a Truly Progressive Tax” (Nation of


But even without these hair-brained Republican plans, we're heading in their direction anyway.



So when Barack Obama calls for ending the Bush tax cut on incomes over $250,000, he’s only talking about the portion peoples’ incomes that exceed $250,000.

So when Barack Obama calls for ending the Bush tax cut on incomes over $250,000, he’s only talking about the portion peoples’ incomes that exceed $250,000.


So when Barack Obama calls for ending the Bush tax cut on incomes over $250,000, he’s only talking about the portion peoples’ incomes that exceed $250,000.


W.S. SAYS: Hmm, in the first Reich example, he has “hair” for brains? That could work, but it’s “hare-brained” instead. Thanks to Bugs Bunny and Brer Rabbit, rabbits (and hares) seem sharp enough, but Droopy was not the sharpest knife in the drawer of animation. In the South, should the expression be changed to “armadillo-brained” or “possum-brained”? Try it out on your friends. Now, in the second Reich column, “people” is already plural, so it should be “people’s.” By contrast, Churchill wrote of the history of the English-speaking peoples (e.g., Brits, Yanks, Aussies, etc.). Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about a third Reich.




Blog about K-12 funding:


Could it be that they are only speaking for those whom are looking to cash in on current legislative efforts to privatize state schools?


W.S. SAYS: Normally, Wrong Stuff tries not to pick errors from blogs (too much like shooting fish in a barrel), but we spotted this type of error in a regular newspaper, which sacrificed itself in the recycle bin before the flaw could be copied into this newsletter. For the example above, you don’t write “whom are looking,” since “whom” is in the subject spot of a clause. So “who are looking” is correct even though it follows a preposition “for.”


Let’s imagine that someone has said: “Whoever comes in next will be our club president.” Here the clause is in the subject’s spot. If the sentence is reworded, it might say, “The club will elect as president whoever came in next” (direct object spot). Still reworded: “They gave the honor to whoever came in next” (object of preposition).


Best advice: When in doubt, use “who” since perhaps only 8 percent of the readers will notice a problem. If you use “whom” incorrectly, you may find 60 percent of the readers frowning at the misuse.




Sophia Tareen, “Convictions Vacated Against 3 In 1991 Dixmoor Rape, Murder” (Huffington Post):


Taylor, 34, was among three men serving prison time for the 1991 rape and murder of a 14-year-old suburban Chicago girl whose convictions were vacated Thursday after DNA evidence linked another man to the crime.


W.S. SAYS: This sentence violates two rules for writing, especially in journalism: Devote one major thought to a sentence and keep the parts together that belong together. Notice that the “whose”-clause should be close to “three men,” but 17 words separate the two. A quick fix for an editor would be to end the sentence after “girl” and begin the next sentence with “Their convictions… .”


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A life should be as carefully planned as a work of art so that it takes on the characteristic shape of your mind (the true meaning of “lifestyle”). You set goals for yourself by asking what you envision yourself doing in seven years. What image of yourself have you been secretly entertaining? Bring the image out of the closet, entertain it consciously (in the privacy of your own workroom). Examine it carefully. Ask yourself if it’s realistic. Goals that are set too high are counterproductive, just as goals that are too low are unworthy of your efforts.


n  Kenneth Atchity, “A Writer’s Time: A Guide to the Creative Process, from Vision through Revision”


HAVE SOMETHING BARBARIC OR ADVICE ABOUT BETTER USAGE? This section calls attention to a word or words that are used by people who don’t understand that better usage is out there. (You may call yourself something like “Publius,” “Claudius,” or “Auspicious” if you want to keep your anonymity.)


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Amazon Signs Up

Authors, But Writes

Outs Publishers

And Agents


Traditional publishing houses are dumb-struck, trying to figure out how to counter the business strategy of and its Kindle e-publishing wing. David Streitfeld quotes one publishing official that we are going through the biggest change in publishing since Gutenberg.


Rules for a Loving Couple

Who Write at Home


G. C. Cunningham has devised some possibly useful guidelines for households where two or more individuals are tackling the problem of putting thoughts on paper.


Why do men and women

talk differently?


According to Thomas Rogers in, John L. Locke, a professor of linguistics at Lehman College, argues In “Duels and Duets,” that men and women have radically different ways of speaking not because of their upbringing, but because they have radically different evolutionary needs.


Op-Ed: Trying out

Smashwords, the E-book

publisher for everybody 

Paul Wallis examined Smashwords and gave it a thumbs-up. The Australian writes in Digital Journal: “Important- Read the Style Guide! Unlike 99% of guides, this one has direct practical applications, doesn’t tell you ‘how to be a good little sheeplike writer’ and makes sense. You also won’t feel patronized to death after reading it.”


Man Booker Prize:

Julian Barnes and

our sense of a happy ending


Gaby Woods, the Telegraph's Head of Books, was one of the five judges of the Man Booker Prize for Fiction, the U.K.’s equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize. She looks back at the selection process that caused such a fuss.


Why do they keep trotting out

this Looney idea

about Shakespeare?


Terry Wogan complains that a Gateshead schoolteacher's bizarre conspiracy theory has now become the basis for an entire Hollywood blockbuster.


Only foolish snobs

don’t believe in

William Shakespeare


What did Shakespeare, Shelley, and Dickens have in common? Allan Massie said neither attended college, but they were still fine writers. He says the new film about the Bard merely fuels the absurd conspiracy theories that surround our best loved plays.


12 Misunderstood

and Misquoted




Coleridge didn’t write “water water everywhere but not a drop to drink,” and the proverb isn’t “money is the root of all evil.” Similarly, lines from Shakespeare get twisted around.


The Road

to Melville

and Moby-Dick


Moby-Dick isn’t simply the greatest American novel, according to Nathaniel Philbrick, a best-selling historian. After 160 years, Melville’s masterpiece remains supremely relevant—a survival manual in times of crisis, a challenge to the Ahabs of every century, and an expression of democracy’s “divine equality.”


Catch-22: Is the novel

still relevant

to modern soldiers?


Virginia Brown in the BBC News Magazine notes that the classic novel that coined the term describing impossible situations is celebrating its 50th birthday. She wonders how close does Catch-22 come to accurately portraying today's military.

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Americans like fat books and thin women.


– Russell Baker




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BARD SOCIETY: Every Wednesday: 7 p.m.; Frank Green 410.5775; Email


THE CDS PUBLICITY FREE WRITERS CRITIQUE GROUP: Meets twice monthly. The first Tuesday of each month at the Mandarin Library on Kori Road from 6 to 8:30 p.m., and the third Saturday of the month at the Webb-Wesconnett Library at 103rd and Harlow from 2 until 4 p.m. Everyone is welcome. For more information see our website at or call 904.343.4188.


FIRST COAST CHRISTIAN WRITERS GROUP: Every Thursday, 6:45 p.m. at Charles Webb-Wesconnett Library at the intersection of 103rd Street and Harlow Boulevard. Email: or,


FIRST COAST ROMANCE WRITERS: Second Saturday of each month; start time varies based on program; see website Chaffee Road Library; 1425 Chaffee Rd. S., Jacksonville. Info:


MANDARIN WRITERS WORKSHOP: Second and fourth Wednesdays at 6:30 p.m. at S. Mandarin Library (corner of San Jose and Orange Picker Rd.). Larry Barnes at


NORTH FLORIDA WRITERS: Second Saturday: 2 p.m. at Willowbranch Library; 2875 Park Street 32205;


NORTHEAST FLORIDA CHAPTER OF FLORIDA WRITERS ASSN.: fourth Saturday of the month at 10:30 a.m. at the Ponte Vedra Library (between Jacksonville and St. Augustine). Vic DiGenti, FWA regional director. For more information, check or


SISTERS IN CRIME: First Saturday of each month: 10:30 a.m. at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville, FL 32256; Sherry Czerniejewski, president Email


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      THE ATAVIST (original nonfiction storytelling):




      BOOK COUNTRY (sponsored by Penguin Books):








      DAYS OF YORE (writers and artists’ struggles to succeed):






      HOW LANGUAGE WORKS (the cognitive science of linguistics from Indiana University):


"MURDER YOUR DARLINGS" (Quiller-Couch on Style):










      THE RED ROOM – Where the authors are:
















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President: Stewart Neal (


Vice President: Richard Levine (


Secretary: Kathy Marsh (


Treasurer: Howard Denson (


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Membership is $15 for students, $25 for individuals, and $40 for a family. (Make out checks to WRITERS.) Mail your check to WRITERS, c/o Howard Denson, 1511 Pershing Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32205.


Name___________________________________________ ___________________________

Street or P.O address_________________________________ Apt. No. ___________

City ______________________________State _____ Zip ________________________

E-mail address: __________________________________ _____________ ____________


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1 -- Étienne de La Boétie (1530), Pierre Pithou (1539), Georg Philipp Harsdorffer (1607), Nicolas Boileau Despréaux (1636), John Strype (1643), Florent Carton Dancourt (1661), Paul Daniel Longolius (1704), Christopher Brennan (1870), Stephen Crane (1871), Grantland Rice (1880), Sholem Asch (1880), Hermann Broch (1886), David Jones (1895), Edmund Blunden (1896), Naomi Mitchison (1897), Nordahl Grieg (1902), Jean Tardieu (1903), Henri Troyat (1911), Carlos A. Nicolaas (1915), Margaret Taylor Burroughs (1917), Zenna (Chlarson) Henderson (1917), John Secondari (1919), James J. Kilpatrick (1920), Ilse Aichinger (1921), Edward A. de Jongh (1923), Gordon R(upert) Dickson (1923), Robert N. Rapoport (1924), Rudy (Herman R.) Kousbroek (1929), A(lbert) R(amsdell) Gurney (Jr.) (1930), Edward Said (1935), Kim Krizan (1961), Louise Boije af Gennäs (1961);


2 -- Peter S. Lotichius (Peter Lotz) (1528), Jules Amédée Barbey D'Aurevilly (1808), George Sorel (1847), Leo Perutz (1882), Eddy (Charles E.) du Perron (1899), Gyula Illyes (1902), Daniil (Leonidovich) Andreev (1906), Odysseus Elytis Alepoudellis (1911), Jorge de Sena (1919), Paul Johnson (1928), Patrick Buchanan (1938), Shere Hite (Shirley Diana Gregory) (1942), Thomas Mallon (1951);


3 -- Lucan (39), Benvenuto Cellini (1500), Renatus Rapinus (René Rapin) (1621), August G. Meissner (1753), William Cullen Bryant (1794), Johann Peter Kirsch (1861), Vilhjalmur Stefansson (William Stephenson) (1879), Apie (Adrian P.) Prince (1884), Samuil Marshak (1887), Andre Malraux (Berger) (1901), William Donald Campbell (1905), James "Scotty" Barrett Reston (1909), Dean Riesner (1918), Oodgeroo Noonuccal (1920), Dieter Wellershoff (1925), D. James Kennedy (1930), Jean Rollin (1938), Terrence McNally (1939), Joe Queenan (1950), Massimo Mongai (1950), Felix R. de Rooy (1952), Roseanne Barr (1952), Dennis Miller (1953), Hal Hartley (1959);


4 -- William Habington (1605), Augustus Montague Toplady (1740), Aleksander A. Bestuzhev-Marlinsky (1797), Aleardo (Gaetano) Aleardi (1812), Eden Phillpotts (1862), G(eorge) E(dward) Moore (1873), Will(iam Penn Adair) Rogers (1879), Klabund (Alfred Henschke) (1890), Carlos Pellicer (1899), Lucreţiu Pătrăşcanu (1900), Spyridon Marinatos (1901), Walter Bauer (1904), Tadeusz Żyliński (1904), Martin Raschke (1905), Bob Considine (1906), Ciro Alegría (1909), Jack Rose (1911), Alistair Cameron Crombie (1915), Walter Cronkite (1916), Georges Papy (1920), Hannah Weiner (1928), David Shipman (1932), Judith Herzberg (1934), C(harles) K(enneth) Williams (1936), Marlene Jobert (1943), Charles Frazier (1950), Marvel Williamson (1953), Marc Awodey (1960);


5 -- Joachim Camerarius (Jr.) (1534), Philippe du Plessis (1549), Philippe de Mornay (1549), Isaac de Benserade (1613), John Brown (1715), James Beattie (1735), Pieter Nieuwland (1764), Etienne P. de Senancour (1770), Washington Allston (1779), Moritz Szeps (1835), Ruy Barbosa (de Oliveira) (1849), Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850), Eugene V(ictor) Debs (1855), Ida Tarbell (1857), George A. Malcolm (1881), James Elroy Flecker (1884), Will Durant (1885), Mary Dorna (1881), J(ohn) B(urdon) S(anderson) Haldane (1892), Henri (E.J.A.) de Page (1894), Charles MacArthur (1895), George Lowthian Trevelyan (1906), Fred Lawrence Whipple (1906), Hasan Askari (1919), Douglass North (1920), Ian Arthur Hoyle Munro (1923), Leo Derksen (1926), Christopher Wood (1935), Arthur Ira "Art" Garfunkel (1941), Sam Shepard (1943), Friedman Paul Erhardt “Chef Tell” (1943), Stuart Havelock Hollingdale (1951), Joyce Maynard (1953), Karan Thapar (1955);


6 -- Thomas Kyd (1558), Colley Cibber (1671), Louis Racine (1692), George Back (1796), Pavel Melnikov (1818), Jonas Lie (1833), Francis Ellingwood Abbot (1836), Charles Dow (1851), John Phillip Sousa (1854), Marie Bregendahl (1867), Eugen (Samuilovich) Varga (1879), Robert Musil (1880), Chris van Abkoude (1880), Harold Ross (1892), August Defresne (1893), Fibber McGee (Jim Jordan) (1896), Fanny Leys (1908), James Jones (1921), K. Schippers (Gerard Stigter) (1936), Sally (Margaret) Field (1946), John Falsey (1951), Michael Cunningham (1952), Catherine Crier (1954), Maria Shriver (1955);



7 -- Muhammad ibn Hazm (994), Gédéon Tallemant des Réaux (1619), William Stukeley (1687), Johannes G. Schnabel (1692), Friedrich Leopold Graf zu Stolberg (1750), Fritz Reuter (1810), Karel J. Erben (1811), Andrew Dickson White (1832), Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam (1838), Edwin Herbert Hall (1855), Bipin Chandra Pal (1858), Leon Trotsky (Leib Davidovitsj Bronstein) (1879), Mark Aldanov (Landau) (1886), Esdras Minville (1896), Ruth Pitter (1897), Mark Aleksandrovich Aldanov (1889), Albert Helman (Lodewijk “Lou” Lichtveld) (1903), Konrad Lorenz (1903), Jan Vercammen (1906), Margaret Barbara Lambert (1906), Maurits Mok (1907), Walter Shlomo Gross (1911), Albert Camus (1913), R(aphael) A(loysius) Lafferty (1914), Philip Morrison (1915), (William Franklin) "Billy" Graham Jr. (1918), Matthew Coady (1923), Wolf Mankowitz (1924), Willibrordus S. Rendra (19365), Guido Provoost (1940), Jean Shrimpton (1942), Stephen Greenblatt (1943), Michael Spence (1943);


8 -- Julian of Norwich (1342), Teofilo Folengo (1491), Pierre Bayle (1647), Edmond Halley (1656), Johann Ulrich von Cramer (1706), Sarah Fielding (1710),Roger de Beauvoir (Eugene Auguste Roger de Bully) (1806), Girolamo / Jeromin de Rada (1814), Owen Meredith (Edward R.L. Bulwer-Lytton) (1831), Bram Stoker (1847), René (Raphael) Viviani (1863), William King Baggot (1879), Hermann Rorschach (1884), Hans Cloos (1885), Photios Kontoglou (1895), Dorothy Day (1897), Margaret Mitchell (1900), Cedric Belfrage (1904), Martha Gellhorn (1908), Raja Rao (1908), Katharine Hepburn (1909), Peter Weiss (1916), P(urushottam) L(axman) Deshpande (1919), Christiaan Barnard (1922), António Castanheira Neves (1929), Ben(jamin William) Bova (1932), David Jessel (1945), David Bret (1954), Kazuo Ishiguro (1954), Richard Curtis (1956), Craig Chester (1965), Gordon Ramsay (1966), Courtney Thorne-Smith (1967), Vanesa Littlecrow (1973), Masashi and Seishi Kishimoto (1974);


9 -- Martin Chemnitz (1522), Menso Alting (1541), Paul Aler (1656), Mark Akenside (1721), Benjamin Banneker (1731), Julie de Lespinasse (1732), Thomasine Christine Gyllembourg-Ehrensvard (1773), Elijah P(arish) Lovejoy (1802), Ivan Turgenev (1818), Matthias de Vries (1820), Émile Gaboriau (1832), Emmanuel K. de Bom (1868), Bohdan Lepky (1872), Otfrid Foerster (1873), Allama Iqbal (1877), Velimir Khlebnikov (1885), Ed Wynn (Isaiah Edwin Leopold) (1886), Owen Barfield (1898), Erika Mann (1905), J(ames) William Fulbright (1905), Hendrik van Randwijk (1909), Tabish Dehlvi (1911), Spiro (Theodore) Agnew (1918), Ivo (Rudolph) Jarosy (1921), Raymond Devos (1922), Imre Lakatos (1922), James Schyler (1923), Alistair Horne (1925), Anne Sexton (1928), Marc Favreau (1929), Imre Kertész (1929), Marian Christy (1932), Carl Sagan (1934), Ronald Harwood (Horwitz) (1934), Bob Graham (1936), Roger McCough (1937), Ti-Grace Atkinson (1938), Paul Cameron (1939), Bill Mantlo (1951);


10 -- Martin Luther (1483), Laurentius Paulinus Gothus (1565), Jacob Cats (1577), Ninon de l'Enclos (Anne de Lenclos) (1620), John Bevis (1695), William Hogarth (1697), Adam Gottlob Moltke (1710), Oliver Goldsmith (1730), Granville Sharp (1735), Frederich von Schiller (1759), Vladimir (Ivanovich) Dal (1801), Jose Hernandez (1834), Henry Eyster Jacobs (1844), Josiah Royce (1855), Winston Churchill of the U.S. (1871), (Nicholas) Vachel Lindsay (1879), Patrick Pearse (1879), Aart A. van Schelven (1880), Max Mell (1882), Olaf Bull (1883), Jan van Nijlen (1884), Arnold Zweig (1887), John P. Marquand (1893), Murk Ozinga (1902), John Moore (1907), Paweł Jasienica (1909), Karl (Jay) Shapiro (1913), Oda Blinder (Yolanda Corsen) (1918), Robert F. Engle (1942), David Stockman (1946), Aaron Brown (1948), Debra Hill (1950), James Chapman (1955), Roland Emmerich (1955), Mohsen Badawi (1956), Linda Cohn (1959), Neil Gaiman (1960);


11 -- Bernardo Tasso (1493), Paracelsus (Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim) (1493), Joachim Hopperus (Hoppers) (1523), Martin Ruland the Younger (1569), George Savile, 1st marquis of Halifax (1633), Yen Jo-chue (1636), Johann Albert Fabricius (1668), Firmin Abauzit (1679), Carl Peter Thunberg (1743), Fyodor (Mikhailovich) Dostoyevsky (1821), Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836), Alfred Hermann Fried (1864),